I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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