come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize