the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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