No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
