i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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