I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize