so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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