don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
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Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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