I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
