dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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