3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
that's an acceptable place to lick
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize