She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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