your thong is hanging out like whoa
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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