I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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