EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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