When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
