i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
