listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
