I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
