i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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