So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize