I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
