I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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