So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
