i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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