fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
