this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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