I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
