How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
