I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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