feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
