Your mouth is God's brothel.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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