I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
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