Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
