I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
