Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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