haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
