My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
