And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
