i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize