Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
