I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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