Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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