butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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