At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She told me I should be a condom model.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
