this just has baby written all over it
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
