just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
