she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
