She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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