I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
