You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
