I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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