Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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