im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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