so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
