Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
