my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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