Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
