The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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