I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
