WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
