HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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