The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can I color on your dick again?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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