Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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