i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
