Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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