he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.