is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
