So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
