I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
