Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
