Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize