why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My balls are so social today.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
