woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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