Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
